Toddlerdom is Real

I didn’t come to play with y’all today.

Some of you get it. Some of you don’t.

But hear me now.

Raising a toddler is on some extra terrestrial ish.

For those of you that don’t know, check my son’s typical schedule.

7:40-7:50 Get dressed.

7:50-8:30 Drive in the car to start play date.

8:30-8:35 Throw tantrum because Mommy put me down.

8:35-8:38 Eat breakfast

8:38-8:40 Try and throw things down the vent

8:40-8:42 Eat more breakfast

8:42-8:43 Sing song

8:43-8:45 Listen to a story

8:45-8:48 Diaper change

8:48-8:50 Play with letter blocks

8:50-8:53 Bang on drums

8:53-8:57 Draw with chalk/eat chalk

8:57-9:02 More blocks

9:02-9:05 Time to nurse while Mommy reads a story

9:05-9:12 Climb on table and play with markers and eat the markers and draw on the wall with markers

9:12-9:17 Number counting with blocks

9:17-9:18 Letter sound

9:18-9:21 Chalk or block throwing

9:21-9:27 Paint or play dough 

9:27-9:30 Wash hands 

9:30-9:35 Sensory play with water that Mommy thought would just be for handwashing.

9:35-9:45 Free play/destroy as much as I can while Mommy gets things ready for our field trip

9:45-9:50 Run from Mommy because she wants shoes on

9:50-9:52 All that running made me poop

9:52-10:15 Car ride

10:15- Arrive at 10:00 story time

10:40- Leave story time

10:40-10:50 Snack time

10:50- 11:00 Car ride to a nearby park

11:00-12:00 Eat dirt. Pick up trash. Walk in circles. Occasionally throw a ball. Maybe go up the slide but never actually play with the playground equipment.

12:00-12:15 Fall asleep in the car

12:15-1:00 I may stay sleeping but if not, you will feed me.

1:00-1:15 I am awake you must let me lay here and nurse for as long as I want.

1:15-1:20 Block play

1:20-1:30 A mix of knocking toys off the shelves and dumping everything on the floor while Mommy tries to put another toddler down for nap.

1:30...and the day pretty much goes on like this.

I would have written out the whole day but honestly I’m getting tired just thinking about it. It’s just so repetitive and yet I’m never NOT kept on my toes. It’s just so overwhelmingly ridiculous.

The only controlled, consistent time I have is when we are driving in the car. Period.

But I love it. I love toddlerdom. Even though it is an exhausting and challenging time to be a parent. Because the attention span is so small that you HAVE to have a bag of tricks up your sleeves at all times. And you can’t sit down for long periods of time unless you just don’t care about your furniture or the safety of your child.

To all you toddler moms out there, I salute you.

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